i argue with myself

why is it that i hate/love change?

when i was in college, my roommate & i loved to re-arrange our dorm room. @ our college, we weren't allowed to build lofts so we had to come up with some pretty interesting configurations in what seemed like 59 square feet.

i used to change my room around at home all the time. try the bed on a different wall, @ an angle, maybe just floating in the middle of the room - i tried them all.

now i start going into seizures if my wife suggests something like "so... you wanna move the couch over here tonight?"

i nearly went into panic mode when we found out our landlord was going to let the house we are renting go into foreclosure. we've lived in this house for 2 years. we've got every room set up as best (i think) as we can. i'm comfortable. don't make me change. i hate change.

i love coming up with new ideas. i love sitting down & brainstorming with creative friends about different things we can do, being more effective as youth pastors. i love coming up with new designs...

i hate/love change. i think i finally have a handle on this. i love change in MY life when I'M the one that decides it's time for change. don't force me to change. don't try to corner me into doing things different...

so how am i supposed to handle it when God wants me to change? what am i going to do about the "All Mighty" asking me to change something in my life? i want to say i handle it better than when my wife asks if i'm ready to change up the living room. but i don't. do i pretend like the water was too loud as i quickly try to wash my hands? do i pretend like i'm at the other end of the house and didn't hear? or that i was so engrossed in my book that i was reading i must have "missed what you just said."

when change comes crashing into my life, i need to realize that i'm not in control & look for the best way that this change can be of benefit to me. if God is asking for me to change, he obviously sees what my future is & that there is something holding me back from being the man that he needs me to be. it's in my best interest to accept the change.

i know the shortcomings i have in my life. i know there are things that i could be better at, things i should avoid. i'm guessing you do to.

what is one thing that you want God to change in your life?